Warners of the West
by MKartracingqueen
Summary: The Warners work in a saloon in a western town. When an outlaw kidnaps them and holds them for ransom, he might get more than he expected out of them.
1. Chapter 1

There is a small western town that goes by the name of "Cactus Valley". In the western town, there is a saloon, and the Warners happen to work there. Yakko plays the piano and sings upon request. Wakko makes drinks at the bar area. Dot is a waitress for those who aren't at the bar area. Everything was normal for them until some news was delivered to them. Yakko was at the piano as usual, playing a tune that fans of Animaniacs would recognize as "Yakko's World". As he finished playing the song, he shot a look at some girls sitting at a table and twitched his eyebrows. They swooned.

Suddenly, the door swung open, getting everyone's attention. A man came in holding a piece of paper in his hand.

"Gather round, y'all!" he shouted, slamming the paper on a table. "There's a new outlaw in town!"

Everyone in the saloon went over to the man, including the Warners. The piece of paper was revealed to be a wanted sign. Yakko read it outloud.

" _Wanted: Rustlin' Russell the Kid._ _Reward: 10,000 dollars._ "

"He's a dangerous man!" said the man who brought the news. "He's ruthless, mean, and reckless!"

"Dangerous?" said Yakko, making a courtesy laugh. "Sounds generic to me. I'm sure the sheriff will do something about it."

The man threw the sheriff's badge on the table and everyone gasped.

"That outlaw darn tootin' drove him outta town this morning!"

"Y'all know what this means?" said a woman, panicking. "If we don't do something fast, that feller will be the end of us!"

"We need someone to stop him!" said the man.

He looked at the Warners.

"And _you're_ the only ones who can do that very thing!"

"Of course!" said another man. "Those kids know how an outlaw thinks! And don't y'all remember how they got rid of the other outlaws in this very town?"

Another woman went over to Yakko and begged on her knees.

"Y'all gotta help us!" she said. "We'll be ruined if y'all don't take care of him!"

"She's darn tootin' right!" said another man. "We'll do anything if you'll drive that outlaw outta town!"

Yakko huddled up with his siblings and discussed it for a few seconds, then they looked at the people, waiting for their answer.

"We'll do it!" they shouted.

"But you'll have to pay me in candy!" said Wakko.

"Done!" said the man who walked in.

A few hours later, after everything returned to normal, the Warners closed up shop.

"We can take him!" said Yakko, bringing up what was mentioned earlier. "Wait 'till he sees what he's up against!"

"Yeah!" said Dot. "He doesn't stand a chance against my cuteness!"

Yakko and Wakko rolled their eyes.

"Hey! I can't help it if I'm cute!"

Wakko yawned.

"Well," said Yakko, "we better rest. Tomorrow, that outlaw'll be outta here once we're finished with him!"

"Yeah," said Wakko. "And I'll have my candy too!"

The Warners went to their beds and slept, getting ready for the big showdown. However, their enemy was a step ahead of them. Rustlin' Russell carefully snuck into the saloon, carrying three sacks in his hand.

 _These are the ones I'll be up against? Three children? Ha! They won't stand a chance against me! Just think about what the town'll do to get them back!_

He picked up the Warners and stuffed them inside the sacks. The Warners were being kidnapped and they didn't even notice it…or did they?


	2. Chapter 2

It was morning. Russell returned to his hideout. It wasn't like any ordinary hideout. It was a mansion. He walked up the stairs and put the sacks containing the Warners in his room. He opened the sacks and they popped out, jumped into his arms, and kissed him. Russell spit at the ground in disgust.

"Looks like we found our new special friend!" said Yakko.

"I'm not your special friend!" said Russell. "I'm Rustlin' Russell the Kid and I'm holding you hostage!"

"Can we call you 'Dadoo'?" said Wakko.

"No, you cannot."

"It sounds better than Rustlin' Russell the Kid," said Yakko.

Russell quickly took the Warners and tied them to a few chairs.

"Ooh!" said Dot. "Are we gonna sit at your dinner table so you can feed us breakfast?"

"Faboo!" said Wakko.

Russell groaned. How was he going to torture these kids?

"Now listen here!" he shouted. "I am not your special friend! You'll be staying here with me until the town pays me for your return!"

"Cool!" said Yakko, making a cheeky grin. "Can you give us a tour of your home?"

Russell went over to Yakko and tried to strangle him, but Yakko extended his neck away from him. It recoiled and he head-butted Russell, which sent Russell crashing into the wall.

"Nice hit!" said Dot.

She and Wakko applauded as Yakko bowed. Russell tried to attack Yakko again, but Yakko pulled a paddleball out of his pants and hit him in the belly, causing him to stagger backwards in pain.

"That's gonna leave a mark," said Wakko.

"Trust me," said Dot, "he holds much more in his pants than you'd expect!"

Yakko blew a kiss to the audience.

"Goodnight everybody!" he said as they ran off.

The Warners ran through a hallway, admiring the beauty of the mansion as Russell chased them.

"Nice house you got here, Russell!" said Yakko.

"Is that a crystal chandelier?!" said Dot.

"Faboo!" said Wakko.

They jumped on the chandelier and swung around as Russell tried to grab them.

"Get down from there!" said Russell. "Don't you know how long it took me to steal it?!"

The Warners jumped off the chandelier and slid down the rails of the stairs, leading them to the main room.

"Check this out!" said Dot.

She looked at a shelf on the wall, took two flower pots with cacti inside of them, and balanced them on her arms.

"Oh, yeah?" said Yakko. "Watch _this_!"

Yakko took some vases. He balanced two on his head, one on his leg, two stacked on top of two on his arms, and one on his nose. Russell broke into the room.

"Be careful with that!" said Russell.

"I've got everything under control!" said Yakko.

Russell tried to capture them again as they ran loose in his house, but the Warners split up. Wakko and Dot escaped, but Russell managed to grab Yakko.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Put me down!"

Russell carried him away.


	3. Chapter 3

Russell threw Yakko inside a fairly dark room and locked the door, trapping Yakko inside. He found himself floating in water.

"Wow, this is a big swimming pool you got here!"

Yakko went underwater and started doing some tricks. He flipped, did some somersaults, and dove to the bottom. Then he swam upwards to breathe. He made it to the surface, but almost hit his head on the ceiling. When he looked under him, he realized that this wasn't a swimming pool. The room was supposed to fill itself with water and have Yakko drown in it due to the lack of oxygen. The room was almost full.

"Uh-oh."

He took a deep breath and, diving underwater again, blew a big bubble and climbed inside it.

"Now _that's_ more like it!"

He moved around in it like he was in a hamster ball and bounced off the walls.

"Hey, this is fun! Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy!"

Every time he bounced his bubble off the walls of the room, he would end up hitting the walls harder and faster, and he was enjoying it.

"I'd really hate it if someone burst my bubble now!"

Soon, the bubble was bouncing too fast and spun out of control. It ended up hitting the door so hard that the hinges broke, releasing all the water and setting Yakko free. He bounced out of the room with his bubble, followed by a trail of water. The water behind him dampened the carpet on the floors and splashed the walls. He uncontrollably bounced around the halls, rolling in circles until the bubble went inside another room. The bubble burst upon entering, causing Yakko to land flat on his face. He looked up and saw a stage with twenty showgirls on stage.

"Helloooooooooo nurses!" he shouted.

The showgirls turned around and saw Yakko staring at them. They squealed as they ran towards Yakko. One of them grabbed him.

"He's mine!" she shouted. "All mine!"

"No way!" said another, taking him out of her arms. "He's mine!"

Soon, they started fighting over Yakko, tackling each other and eventually forming a dogpile. Luckily, he broke up the fight.

"Ladies!" he shouted, giving them a smug look. "Why can't _all_ of you have me?"

"Good point," said the girl who grabbed him first.

They surrounded Yakko. He looked at the camera.

"Don't look," he said. "Things are about to get intense!"


	4. Chapter 4

Wakko was hungry. He headed over to the kitchen to see what was available for him to eat. He opened the refrigerator.

"Hmmm. What have we got here?"

He saw some wheat bread and bologna.

"Bologna sandwich. Sounds good."

He took out the bread and the bologna along with some mustard and mayonnaise. He took a knife and spread the mustard and mayonnaise on both pieces of bread. Then he put the bologna on one of the pieces of bread. Once he finished making the sandwich, he swallowed it whole. However, he was still hungry. So he returned to the refrigerator and after taking a second look, he saw every kind of food imaginable. It made his mouth water.

"That's a lot of food!"

Excited, Wakko ate everything in the refrigerator, including five sticks of butter. He patted his belly.

"That's much better! Now what's he got to drink?"

He looked around the kitchen. He looked down and opened a cabinet. Inside the cabinet were alcoholic drinks.

"This must be the whiskey cabinet."

He took out various bottles of wine, beer, and liquor.

"Well, here goes."

He started chugging down all the bottles, one by one. He would end up spilling on the floor a little but he didn't mind, not noticing that there was a big puddle of alcohol under him when he was done. After drinking everything, he got drunk.

"That felt good…"

Wakko hiccupped, then drunkenly wandered around the kitchen, coming across a frying pan. He looked at his reflection in it.

"Hehe…I look funny!"

He made funny faces and siren noises to go with it. After a minute passed, he accidentally hit his head with the frying pan. His vision was blurred, where everything looked like it was spinning around. He hiccupped again, then he looked at a chair.

"Oh Mister Woody Chair! You're the only one who understands me!"

He held on to the chair as he said that, then passed out in the mess he made.


	5. Chapter 5

Dot ran down a hallway. It was lit up with lamps attached to the walls. She entered a room and couldn't believe what she saw. The room was filled with various treasures and antiques.

"Wow!" said Dot. "Looks like it's time for a shopping spree!"

She wandered around the room, coming across a taxidermy rattlesnake.

"Ooh, fancy!"

She took it, put it around her neck as if it was a boa, and looked at herself in the mirror.

"Eh, it doesn't look good on me."

She took off the snake and got two miniature guns, wearing them like earrings.

"Hmmm, not bad."

She took off the guns, got an empty jar, and put it on her head.

"Look at me! I'm an astronaut now!"

She giggled before taking it off. She went starry-eyed as she saw a large diamond.

"Perfect!" she shouted.

She took a metal hoop with nothing on it and attached the large diamond to it, making a diamond ring. Then she put the ring on her finger. She took another look at her reflection.

"I hope Russell will let me keep this!"

Dot sighed.

"All that shopping made me hungry."

She ran off with the ring and headed towards the kitchen, which wasn't far away. She opened the door and saw the mess, complete with Wakko passed out on the floor.

 _Oh great._

She walked towards Wakko and shook him.

"Wakko, wake up!"

"Huh, what?" said Wakko.

"Did you eat everything in the fridge?"

"I'm sorry! I was hungry!"

"Next time, save something for me! What happened?"

She signaled to the mess.

"Don't ask," said Wakko. "Where did you get the ring?"

"You won't believe what I saw!"

* * *

Dot led Wakko into the hallway, with Wakko leaving footprints from the mess he made in the kitchen. Dot was about to show Wakko the room she was in earlier. She went to open the door, but before she did, she noticed that the floor was wet.

"That's weird," said Dot. "It wasn't wet when I got here."

All of a sudden, the door on the other side of the hall flung wide open, startling Wakko and Dot. Yakko came out, covered in smooch marks.

"So…many…girls!" he murmured.

"Whoa," said Wakko.

Dot walked over to Yakko.

"How many were in there?"

"Twenty," said Yakko. "Two of them tried to take off my pants."

"Fangirls," said Dot. "Go fig."

"I'm going back for more!" said Yakko.

He was about to open the door and go back inside, but Dot grabbed his tail and pulled him back.

"No way! That's enough kissy-face for you!"

"There you are!" said Russell, who finally found them.

"Yipe!" shouted the Warners as they ran away.


	6. Chapter 6

The Warners were in pursuit from Russell. As they ran, they took time to admire the paintings on the walls, ones they recognized as the "Mona Lisa", "Starry Night", "The Scream", and various paintings of Pablo Picasso.

"Whoa, you managed to steal all _that_?" said Yakko.

"Impressive!" said Dot.

Soon, they reached a split end, where they could either go left, right, or continue straight. The Warners decided to keep moving forward, where a door was waiting for them.

"Come on, sibs!" said Yakko.

Dot and Wakko entered the room, with Yakko closing the door behind them and keeping them safe from Russell.

"Get back here!" Russell shouted, pounding on the door. "Let me in!"

The Warners' jaws dropped as they were absolutely stunned by this room. It was a dining room. The walls were painted gold and the floor was made of smooth, square-shaped tiles. There was a long table in the center with silverware and various china plates on top of it.

"Faboo!" said Wakko.

Yakko got on top of the table, examining the beauty of everything with his siblings. Russell managed to break down the door, getting their attention. When the Warners turned around, Russell was holding two guns in his hands.

"Now I gotcha!" he shouted.

He tried to shoot the Warners, but Yakko was quick. He took a china plate and put it in front of him, blocking the bullet.

"Shoot!" said Russell.

He tried shooting them again, but Yakko kept throwing the plates and blocking the bullets. His siblings joined in, doing various tricks to taunt Russell.

"You've got good aim," said Dot, "but you can do better."

Once the last china plate was thrown in the air, there was a mess. Since the plates were hit by the bullets, they shattered to pieces. Russell also ran out of ammunition.

"Looks like you ran out of bullets!" said Yakko.

"Too bad," said Dot.

Wakko made a gookie to accompany Dot's taunt.

Russell threw the guns on the floor in frustration. He took out a lasso, twirled it a few times, and tried to reel Dot towards him, but she jumped back, avoiding getting caught. This gave her and her brothers an idea.

"Catch me if you can!" said Yakko.

He jumped off the table, avoiding Russell's attempts to capture him. Once he got close to Russell, he started running in a circle around him. His siblings joined in. This made Russell get dizzy.

"Hold still!" he shouted.

"We'd like to," said Dot, "but we can't."

"Not that we _can't_ ," said Yakko.

"But we don't want to!" said Wakko.

They laughed as they kept running and spinning around Russell. Eventually, Russell stopped using his lasso, noticing that he couldn't move his body anymore. He looked down and realized that the Warners tricked him into tying himself up with the lasso.

"Nice job, sibs!" said Yakko.

He high-fived Wakko and Dot. Russell, who had enough of their troublemaking, finally gave up.

"Ok, ok!" he shouted. "You got me! I surrender! I'll do whatever you want! Just _please_ get away from me!"

* * *

In the town square, the Warners were praised for defeating Russell. All the items he stole were returned to their respective owners and the Warners received their rewards.

"Thanks to y'all," said a man who presented them with the reward, "our town is safe! We thank y'all for takin' care of that feller! How did you do it?"

"It was easy," said Yakko. "We just did a little this, a little that, then _that_ happened!"

He pointed to Russell, who was loaded inside a horse-drawn carriage and taken away to jail. Dot looked at Wakko, who got his bag of candy.

"Enjoying your candy?" said Dot.

"Yeah!" said Wakko, munching on a chocolate bar. "It's delicious!"

"Are y'all satisfied?" said the man.

"I feel like something's missing…" said Yakko.

A light bulb appeared over his head, then he whistled. The showgirls from Russell's mansion surrounded Yakko.

" _Now_ I'm good! Let's go, girls!"

He was carried away by the showgirls.

"Hey!" shouted Wakko. "Wait for me! I want some of that too!"

He chased after them. Dot looked at the camera.

"Boys!" she shouted. "Wait 'till they learn about commitment!"

Then she chased after them into the sunset.

* * *

 **The end! Hope you enjoyed my second fanfic (and hopefully my ending didn't disappoint you this time)!**


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